Feel like crapppp...sick and want to restrict but know i shouldn't...

I've just come so far from where I was a year ago.

Anyways...feel like crap...going to the doctors this afternnon....yesterday was bad. I ate a ton. But I know my metabolism is getting up there because even though I'm eating a lot (and gaining weight/weight fluctuating) my stomach is not as "pregnant" as i put it as it used to be. My legs are looking good....or well better than thunder thighs.....I think its the running....did I say I ran almost 9.2 miles the other night! I probably ran like 9 miles or 9.1 whatever same thing. But soo cool :D
I like died I was dead after.

Here's how yesterday went.....

I went to the gym...
stairs for 5 minutes burned 50 calories
3x of 10 seated row on 45 and 10 dip assists/pull ups on 60
3x of 10 leg curls on 50 and 10 shoulder presses each side on 40
a little of the ab torso machine
3x of 15 pushups and 1 minute plank (1 minute rest between each set)
stairs for 15 minutes burned 150 calories

I went to Starbucks to meet up with some friends. My friend is leaving for France. I got a grande iced coffee and put some skim milk it in and 3 splendas.



Then I ate really fast unfortunately and I hate doing that because I can never tell if I'm "full" but I find that eating and then having to go RIGHT out is SOOO much better because I can't stuff my face for hours. And I would do that. I need to eat more only when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. It's sooo hard to do that though. So that was good. This is what I ate.



Then around 5pm I had my kashi dark chocolate coconut bar


This was the turkey sandwich I ate a little before 6pm....just a large la tortilla factory low carb tortilla with turkey. I did NOT have the oatmeal pictured.


And this is what my dinner looked like/once it was wrapped etc etc. I had almonds too :)


After I finished that I also decided to eat a yummyyy Clif bar....urggggg idk how my feelings are. i guess just overall crap about how i ate today.


Like babysitting is the worst. They have the most amazing kid food and danger food in the house all the time.
1 serving of this is 20 berries @ 180 calories. I had 40. So I had 2 servings. But since it was warm they were sort of gooey and just a delicious mess.
"There high in antioxidants" as the mom put it the other night when the 9 year old son was eating them before bed :D



So after all those berries I consumed about 1445 calories. I was feeling okay. Well I was feeling blah but I knew it wasn't an ridiculously large amount of calories. I was just feeling very ANXIOUS for the rest of the night and unsure of what was going to happen and just was scared shit because I knew I'd eat more and I did...

I don't have any pictures of what I ate but I ate some skippys peanut butter (BLAH! I was doing so well--hiding it worked well and no one seemed to miss it in the family. hahaa. I also do not like skippys peanut butter anymore!!! I LOVE Teddies peanut butter but the store was closed last night after I got off work so I couldn't get any!!!) :(

My bread came!!!!!!



I'll post more later.
I think I'm going go relax, maybe get something to eat or go out to the store and get teddies and go to the doctors later.