Life.

So...
I currently just scrapped the peanut butter jar clean. mmm...wonderful. :(
Except I am not going to fret about it.
It was probably 2 servings worth. So yeah a lot of calories but whatever. I couldn't sleep last night. I went to bed at like 4am and it SUCKED staying in bed for a while doing nothing...thinking about food...whats new!!
Anyway...a friend e-mailed my therapist saying she was concerned about me and I know she probably mentioned that I threw up and was bitching about my body. I did NOT expect her to email my therapist though. I'm glad she told me she contacted my therapist rather than hearing it from my therapist. ugh.
I guess that just stresses me out. I don't want her to think I have an issue. Because yeah I did do that but I am SOOO much better than where I used to be. And my friend was just like you have a great body and don't need to worry about that. BLAHH!!! Umm sorry....have ya checked out my thighs or the rolls and rolls of my fat stomach?!? ugh I think not.

Sorry...I just NEEDED to VENT. My goodness.

So today's my day off from working out.

Sarah left a comment asking what my workouts are like. We'll....it depends...I currently am training or whatever ya wanna call it for a 6 mile race on Thanksgiving and hope I will be able to run a half marathon in March!!! That would be soo amazing. But my mind OFTEN gets to me when I run and tells me I can't do it/can't run that far etc etc...

But yesterday I worked my butt :-) woohoo I did 50 pushups (not woman ones either! :-) yayy) and Quads and Gluts and then ran a mile in 7:01 mins. I literally died after running that. I was exhausted.
I TRY to run about 11-15 miles a week. It's sometimes less. I weight train A LOT. Seriously you ladies out there--being toned is where it's at. Like my thighs I hate my inner thighs where all the fat is but my legs are pretty toned and my arms are pretty toned. My stomach...ehh not so much but it certainly has improved and gotten more toned. And when I said weight train.....I mean lift heavy...I lift heavy weights. I'll do barbell squats with 60 lbs and do lunges with a curl with 17.5 lb dumbbells and sumo squats with 60 lbs and you get the drift....But like I use 15 and 12.5 dumbbells for some things that are harder for me. Again its all whats heavy for you!!! you don't want to hurt yourself when your working out by lifting too heavy of a weight!!!

Life is blahh....so much work....literally so much work. I should get on that.
I'm just really stressed right now and I don't even know why!!

:-(

I am excited to go home soon.
I am excited to go to the gym, run my race, see my friends and hopefully go to church.
Oh and...I am speaking in a few weeks about my hearing aids....CRAP!!!! I'm so nervous!!! No one knows--not even my roommates...I'm speaking on this panel. Hopefully not too many people will go!!! lol